I had to return my Smooth-On uniforms today. I won't miss them. I wanted to say bye to a few peeps, like Broccoli Rob & Alja-Safe Sean, but I didn't expect what I got. I got a handful of "congratulations", a few "we'll miss you"s and even a random "Happy Fathers Day!". But I also got tears. Tears and a hug. A hug that wouldn't stop, even when it got awkward. All this from Erin, the woman that made sure I knew how much she despised me and cursed my existence each and every day. Just goes to show you, everyone needs an adversary. I peeked in to say buhbye to my coworkers I saw everyday for the past four months, but when Sara came down from her post and hurried towards me, arms open, I hightailed it. And I did. I ran all the way down the hall, out the door and into my car. I heard some yells about "keep in touch" and "baby shower", but all I could get out was "Thanks buhbye". Guess I was excited.
Relieved is more the word. I immediately noticed the sun had come up, and tho I had yet to get to work that day and had the whole shebang in front of me, I was jovial. And just to remember my days here at the Smooth-On, I took some souvenirs, things I used on a daily basis, no matter how unnecessary they were for the job.
I gotta weigh some pros & cons and I choose to do it here....
COMMUTE
Bustin: 40 minutes round trip thru wooded backroads & a small suburb
Smooth-On: 2 hours 10 minutes round trip out to 80, down 33 and thru the city of Easton
Advantage - Bustin
ATTIRE
Bustin: whatever the hell I want
Smooth-On: a navy blue Dickey suit, buttoned up, tucked in & belted
Advantage - Bustin
MUSIC
Bustin: each station has it's own personal radio, so I heard a mixture of death metal, hip-hop and jazz most of the day, but I'll usually be driving alone all day so it's all about the iPod
Smooth-On: satellite radio usually tuned to 80's or 60's pop
Advantage - Bustin
SUPERVISION Bustin: a collection of mellow, probably ex-hippies that know there's a job to do but aren't worried about it actually getting done and like my jokes
Smooth-On: a gaggle of overly obsessed foul-ups that think if a mold rubber doesn't make it to Germany by tomorrow the world may very well come to an end, and no jokes
Advantage - Bustin
DECOR
Bustin: a confusing mix of multi-decadinal decor including 70's wood paneling, 50's art deco bathrooms and a kitchen full of microwaves & refrigerators from the 80's.
Smooth-On: concrete floor, concrete walls, no windows
Advantage: Bustin
ACTUAL JOB Bustin: driving back and forth between Stroudsburg, Allentown, Scranton, Pittstown, Perth Amboy & Elizabeth, and all the places in between
Smooth-On: packing boxes full of plastic molds & rubber, mixing batches, crashing forklifts and throwing anything I can get my hands on at Sarah
Advantage - Bustin
WILDLIFE
Bustin: bunnies in the brush
Smooth-On: possums in the plant
Advantage - tie
MONETARY COMPENSATION Bustin: 5% more than Smooth-On, not to mention the money I'll save on gas
Smooth-On: 5% less than Bustin plus two tanks of gas in the Dodge Dakota each week
This has been a weird couple of days. I've been pretty beat not being able to catch up on any sleep this weekend. I need at least one morning where I don't wake up before 5am to function properly. We even missed Lost because we were both so tired. I'm looking forward to this Saturday. A break is waiting. Altho the grass is somehow quite tall again. Damned dandelions.
We got rookie hazing this week. New guys fill the hazardous waste drums. That's my crew Tonya and Broccoli Rob. Oh delicious toluene diisocyanate. But don't worry. We wore these awesome Ghostbuster suits, which complemented my new hair cut quite well because people think I look like Bill Murray. Not sure if that's a compliment or what.
We got rid of a bunch of bulk. Laura drove the truck to the municipal building and pregnant lady didn't even have to leave the drivers seat. We got connections. But now the pool is officially gone, along with rogue toilet and other random knick-knacks.
Today was company picnic day. It seemed last minute, but I didn't mind the 2 hour break in the middle of the day for 12-foot hoagies and a little macaroni salad. Dudes brought guitars and bongos for some musical entertainment, and, well, things went down. Ryan's a cool dude but I'm concerned about him getting whiplash.
Oh! and I got my own stamper. Cue music......... "Movin' on up! To the east side."
Everything came together when I stumbled upon a new Most Serene Republic album that just popped out this week. Those sneaky sneaks! Tomorrow's drive will be a good one me thinks.
Eyes: Family Guy Ears: Broken Social Scene - Forced To Love
According to police reports, Conrad Zdzierak, 30, is alleged to have used the $700 silicon mask in an audacious string of six bank robberies in Ohio. Five of the robberies took place on the same day, April 9. Police in Springdale, Ohio released video footage from the banks, appealing for public help in finding what they believed was an African-American male. But after a tip-off, officers found Zdzierak staying at a nearby hotel. Lieutenant Michael Mathis from the Springdale Police Department admitted police were fooled by the disguise and said he had never seen anything like it. "He wore what I'm calling a 'Hollywood quality' mask," Mr Mathis said. "These things cost $600-$700."
I took this photo from the couch when Laura got home from work today. Is the shine from the sun or from her belly? We'll never know for sure. Sometimes you don't even have to move to get one for the album. She looks like she's smuggling basketballs. What kind of a place would you need to be smuggling basketballs into? Maybe an flea circus. Or an ant farm. She's got baby-head tho. Went online looking for a new baby themed shirt. I wanted her to get a Sonic Youth tee. Maybe something from the Goo or Dirty era. No dice. They can be pricey. Or maybe a Breeders shirt. And old Breeders shirt. That'd be funny. Because she's a breeder now. A real Deal sister. The one with the fuzzy helmet. I have that one but the helmet faded away a couple years ago. I'm not sure what it is about them but I'm drawn to the old shirts of bands I listened to in highschool for her. She found another one that had an incidental reference to Nirvana. We went with it. It'll be delivered by USPS. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's almost time for dinner and the Mets are in the throws of their second of two games today. Won the first convincingly. This one's not going as well. I think it's grilled chicken for dinner. Mystery flavor. And some salad. Maybe an orange cream soda and finish off that birthday cake for dessert. Lost is on but jock at work told me it's a repeat. Did I tell you how I matched my morning shift coworkers to the Breakfast Club cast? I ended up being Bender by default. Don't worry. It all works out.
Eyes: James Loney gets tossed Ears: Avi Buffalo - What's In It For?
We finally got our radiator replaced. We've been living with a massive crack in it and just pumping it full of antifreeze and water and Wawa peach iced tea, whatever we could get our hands on. But this week, with Laura on vacation and Sexy Bird just sitting in the driveway, we decided to test our new mechanic, Marty, who is as advertised. He even remembered my name when I called today. Pleasant and honest, a rarity in these times. I don't know why they spray painted our battery but now we can fill our tank with fluid and after a winter without it, we can run the heat.
We've been thinking about landscape alot, and we found some trees we like. Laura liked the little flowery ones. I liked the 30 foot dead ones. Some are more feasible than others.
It was one of my trainees birthdays today so I got him the smallest cupcake imaginable. He laughed but didn't eat it. I'm not sure it was edible. I found it in the lab from this weeks seminars. Maybe it was a cupcake model. But who would need such a thing? But who would need any of the things that are created under that roof. It all seems very fruitless. Yet people get their feathers ruffled there on a daily basis. I like it. I find it entertaining.
I came home early and found my pregnant wife killing a bowl of extreme moose tracks and watching Roseanne on the couch. Caught red-handed. She had no alibi. An hour later we were eating strawberry & cream. Then two Kashi pizzas. If we had three it would've been three. Trouble.
Then I asked this girl at work, that I lovingly refer to as Nimrod, if she needed anything off the top shelf... because I had built a staircase. I thought it was hilarious.
Then she came back with, "No but can I borrow your phone to make a call? I don't get good service in here like you."
I don't think that title is the appropriate phrase I'm looking for but... they got me training people today. Not even a full time employee and barely a month on the job and now I'm teaching other people what I barely know. I guess I couldn't do much worse than the people who taught me. But when Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It" played not once but twice, I found the confidence. True story.
Tonight is macaroni & cheese night. Like the old fashioned kind. A little Office, maybe get some work done on the computer since I did move it all downstairs. Early to bed I'm guessing tho. Laura didn't sleep well. Baby didn't like the Swedish beef curry we made. That is devastating.
A plague of prophecy. The red moon will bring the firestorm. Wielding the sword of truth Rahl has battled death itself and come to the defense of the O'Haran people....
Ha! I'm just kidding. That ain't my book. But those are my biscoffs. Have em everyday. Easy day today. Early in/early out. Got things to do on the homefront and and need the time to do it. Moving the computer downstairs so I can multitask between my files and my shows. Guarantee that at 10pm I'm either asleep or pissed. You're this close Lost (holds pointer and thumb close together).
Ok. So I've joined the workforce and I'm lucky enough to work in a place that likes to blast the tunes all day long. Music is motivation. I love all the 80's mixes and the Tom Petty and Beatles (early Beatles mind you). I don't even mind the better Aerosmith stuff, but from there it gets ugly. Horrible "modern rock" and painfully cliché country muck doesn't even scratch the surface. The scourge of decent music everywhere, Nickelback galore makes no apologies, nor does the Backstreet/N'Sync ballads, the old school Metallica, and a country pop remake of Mockingbird that is the audio equivalent of letting loose in a room full of beagle puppies with an M60. Is nothing sacred?
I expressed my concerns to my fellow employee who seems deemed to pick and choose the potentially deadly playlist. I call her DJ Mixmaster Melissa. She said she would love some recommendations. So we sat down on a 15 and went thru a few things. It did not go well, and maybe I started off too far down the road from what was comfortable for her, but extreme times....
I played a favorite tune from Battles, Tij, since she expressed enjoyment in drum tracks, I thought this may be a safe bet. She countered with this...
It took every ounce of my being to not stab myself in the ears with the plastic forks. I took it down a notch and knowing she was a fan of sappy ballads I played her some of the gentle brilliance of the Grizzly Bear.
These guys are stealing our couch! I saw them on the 209 connector!
I'm kidding. That is our couch tho. Just a newer version, one that hasn't been sat on for 10 years.
Day one of the week down. I don't wanna turn into one of those people who wish the week away, yet here we are. But it was a fine day. Started slow with some awful new age ballad station on the satellite. Then Tonya told us the story of how she had to kill Sara's (yes I am going to act like you know these people by name) ferret over the weekend. It was a pity killing. Then she threw it in the garbage. Sentimental bunch. Ryan & I bonded over music when he told me I had to check out "this band called Mew". How do you be polite in a situation like that? I turned him onto Battles & the mighty Broken Social Scene. We'll see how that went over tomorrow. Then the crusher: Bumbag Larry got canned. And just as I was getting used to his condescending comments and holier than thou attitude. One upping no more Larry. One upping no more. But I've been given free reign over my hours and plan on using it. We may be setting a new record this week folks. We'll see come Saturday. Vulkan is back in the house. I'm gonna take advantage of the lunacy while the lunacy is presented as advantageous. Beef barley for dinner again tonight, and that's not a complaint. And the grass is poking thru. Looks like I can get back to breaking lawnmowers sooner than we thought.
I'm home and in slippers. My body's weary. I'd like to remove my parts and soak them in alternating hot & cold water for the rest of the day, leaving my torso to just flop about in bed while I scan between sports and awful weekend daytime movies. Rough week. Next week will probably be more of the same, and I've gotta drive to Lancaster tomorrow to teach all day. Looking forward to next weekend where the wife & I officially have an off weekend. Starting around noon on Saturday that is.
Best part about this weekend was someone got a hold of the satellite radio and locked it on the 80's station. Man I miss that stuff! I forgot how good some of those songs were, even the bad ones, and I've vowed to bombard my iTunes library with everything 80's. When this will happen? Who knows. But I started keeping a list of good tunes in my back pocket during work so I wouldn't forget any. This list includes, but is not limited to:
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams
Mr. Mister - Kyrie
Cyndi Lauper - She Bop
Real Life - Send Me An Angel
Steve Miller Band - Abracadabra
Kim Wilde - Kids In America
Billy Ocean - Caribbean Queen
Naked Eyes - Always Something There To Remind Me
Matthew Wilder - Break My Stride
Terence Trent D'Arby - Wishing Well
Huey Lewis & The News - If This Is It
Weird list.. hmm
She's finally starting to look pregnant. I took a random photo last night and on second glimpse I saw a protruding baby bump. I'd put it up here but it's NSFW. Instead here's a large photo of me yawning shortly after I discovered the baby bump, because despite the excitement, it was time for bed.
Today will be about working on the computer, catching up with bills, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, cleaning the bedroom, bagging up all the garbage... this place is unsightly! Winter's end does that to you I think. You look at the dirty clothes on the bedroom floor or the dishes piling up in the sink and you think "Oh but it's so warm under this blanket". So there they sit. But the snow is melting and the cats are scratching at the windows so it's that time. I think they call it "spring cleaning". But while there's still snow on the ground, I ain't in no hurry.
Hey! Hi. Remember me? Yeah me neither. We've had a bit of a turn-around kind of month so far this February. I've been working long hours and Laura's been eating and apparently sleeping for two. You'd think she could sleep for both at the same time but she assures me they each need their separate and individual 8 hours. Who am I to say?
I am gonna try to get this thing back on track. Early mornings, long days and commutes will not defeat this once mighty memoir. People need to know that I ripped my pants at work last Wednesday and continued to work for 7 more hours or that Laura made guinea hens Thursday night while we struggled to stay awake thru Lost or that Alps' scars have finally healed over and he'll let me pet him again. This is vital information that must be disclosed to the greater public! I have a job to do here people. Let me do it.
I will attempt to write up a few tidbits about the previous week and trickle them out to you over the next couple days so you can once again wake every morning with the expectation of a hot cup of coffee, our Cheerios and sit down to enjoy some delight unwitted banter from yours truly.
Does anybody really do that? Besides my dad? Hey Dad!
Why the dinosaur? Good question. Considering the news of late, we thought it best that I expedite my efforts to refocus my lifestyle into something more accommodating to that of, say a local profession, something that would allow me to sleep in my own bed at night and not the number of seedy hotel rooms not to mention school floors I've been frequenting, receive steady payment rather than hunting down dollars and dealing with unsupervised parental boards, and most importantly, to keep my feet on the ground. So in early January a job hunt began. I haven't had a "real" job, I guess ever, mainly sticking to fly-by-night jack-of-all-trade assignments. But I knew there'd be a time, and the time is now.
So why the dinosaur? Well, the search led down a few different paths and the decision to follow one had to be made. I took an interview at a large tan brick building last Tuesday which I thought I had nailed. Only later that day did I receive a courtesy call informing me that I did not, in fact, get the job. Disappointed I gathered myself up and retraced my steps to where I was before I made the seemingly ill-fated decision to ask the prettiest girl at the prom for a dance. I had a few other logs on the fire.
So you're still confused about the dinosaur? Well just yesterday morning, amidst a slight lull in the revamped job hunt, we were interrupted by a call. A call from inside the large tan brick building. They had re-analyzed the candidates and decided that I was indeed the man for the job, could I start Monday, and I need to buy some new shoes. Fair enough. So here's where the dinosaur comes in.
The company that has taken a chance on me is called Smooth-On. I know. I thought the same thing. But nonetheless it seems like an extremely cool place to work. They need more trees, but I'll see what I can do about that. You see Smooth-On specializes in liquid rubbers & plastics. The kind used to make models & prosthetics but also the kind used for special effects and lifecasting in films and television. So you've seen Smooth-On products if you've seen movies like Alien, Lord of the Rings, Saving Private Ryan, Pirates of the Caribbean, Ghostbusters, Batman, Jurassic Park, Die Hard, Harry Potter, Star Trek, James Bond, The Matrix, King Kong... the list kinda goes on. Also on broadway, if you got out to the theater for Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Spam-A-Lot, Beauty & the Beast, Mary Poppins & The Lion King, you've seen them there too. Apparently these guys are the first ones to invent and design these silicone masks that are now used anytime you see a ghoul or a goblin or an ogre or just a bloodied Bruce Willis. He's always bloody. So that's why the dinosaur. That one just sticks out to me as the most ludicrous. Like, my boss makes dinosaurs. Wacky.
Here's some of their more horrifying work on display:
I have a feeling that this is a scary place to work at Halloween.
They do more than just disgusting masks and special effects tho. They do casting, model making, taxidermy, candlemaking, sculpture and architectural restoration, which for some reason piqued my interest. I guess they can pretty much do anything that involves liquid rubber & plastic, which clearly means, anything.
I had to return my Smooth-On uniforms today. I won't miss them. I wanted to say bye to a few peeps, like Broccoli Rob & Alja-Safe Sean, but I didn't expect what I got. I got a handful of "congratulations", a few "we'll miss you"s and even a random "Happy Fathers Day!". But I also got tears. Tears and a hug. A hug that wouldn't stop, even when it got awkward. All this from Erin, the woman that made sure I knew how much she despised me and cursed my existence each and every day. Just goes to show you, everyone needs an adversary. I peeked in to say buhbye to my coworkers I saw everyday for the past four months, but when Sara came down from her post and hurried towards me, arms open, I hightailed it. And I did. I ran all the way down the hall, out the door and into my car. I heard some yells about "keep in touch" and "baby shower", but all I could get out was "Thanks buhbye". Guess I was excited.
