Thanks For Breathing

We watched the finale to Weeds the other day and it was terrible.

It was rushed. New plotlines revealed themselves in the final hour of the show (Doug's son?). They made an incredibly lame attempt at depicting future life. They actors seemed like they were asked to re-shoot a couple scenes when they came in to pick up their last paycheck. And I lost interest in the whole Nancy/Andy thing before it even started. The Shane stroyline was lame and forced. Doug starting a cult was pathetic. And why the hell they centered the whole last two episodes around a character that is primarily an infant the whole show is beyond me. Is that the best reason to bring everyone together years in the future? 

Dumb.

I liked Andy's ending. I thought Silas marrying his long lost love was a nice touch. Everything else garbage.

The last scene I will admit saved it a little bit, but what else were they gonna do at the end. I feel like it's the obvious final scene so they don't get credit for that. Minimal credit if anything. Like, thanks for breathing credit. 

So I guess then it was kind of clever. 

Wait, was that the intent?

No.

Dumb.

PS - Every version of Little Boxes (except maybe two) sucked that last season. Good riddance.

Getting Bad Days Out Of The Ways

Today sucked.

Woke up late, apparently with zero motivation to even try to find some motivation at all. And usually that would not be a problem, but today I woke up next to a woman who is ready to tackle a new-found perspective on homebodying and nesting, which apparently includes cleaning up this mess we worked so hard to make for the past month and then like, do stuff or something. Laura is excited to be home, in other words.

After a few meager attempts at organizing the new toy-load for processing and subject distribution throughout the house, Yuula's pleading for some sledding action grew louder from the background, which at first was dismissed in caution of her newly broken fever, but became insistent and isn't this supposed to be a day of celebration anyhow? I made the bold statement "We Are Going Sledding!" seemed to be met with mixed emotion. Joy from the little girl, begrudging acceptance from the big one. Sledding it was.

Now to find a hill.

Our fallback is always Dansbury, where the sunken soccer field creates quite the drop and it's fairly easy access, if you park wisely, which we did not. And the rising temperature was quickly creating and icewater like substance directly below the surface that I could tell was not going to lend itself well to the weight we were about to impose upon it.

I dragged Yuula across the field to the base of the great hill, of which she wanted to scale on her own, so I obliged to a certain degree, probably further than I should have. But she reached the top, with minimal assistance and then the real disappointment began.

After loading her into position and preparing to take my position in the rear of the vehicle, she began to protest and in quite a calm manner announced she would not be riding the sled anymore today. Not out of fear or out of exhaustion, but more out of indifference. So there it was. The time it took suiting up, the ride down the hill and into town, the second suiting up in the parking lot, and the journey to the very peak of excitement, all to bail at the last minute and leave me standing in the snow, wet and cold and still lacking any motivation today to fight it.  

So we went home. 

Then the day got worse when Judee disappeared.

Don't fret. She's back, but for a good 30 minutes of braving the elements and by braving I mean sliding all over the newly formed icy roadways caused by the perfect combination of warm sun during the day melting the snow then re-freezing the shit out it as the sun goes down... more than a few times I had to sit back and hope the skid would deliver me safely. But finally spotting the little turd in the Buttermilks backyard, and then chasing her home with the car, beeping my horn at her hoping she would int turn interpret that as me conveying my inability to properly steer the van out of her general direction so it might not be a good idea to stand in front of me like a literal dog-in-headlights. Aye.

I went back inside to see that yet another team I was rooting for had lost in the playoffs. They wouldn't be the last. I am 0 for 4.

But how bad could a day really be when this is served up to you  as you get within 4 episodes of finally closing the book on Weeds.

No Game Seven, Please

What a mess. It would be in the vein of true NY v Boston sports to have the Celtics be the first team to ever overcome a 3-0 deficit and move on to the next round. What a pathetic couple of games these boys have played, and now returning to Boston for a game 6, one just cannot feel at all confident about this debacle. Luckily I've been watching some of the other games, like Golden State and Denver, which was pretty thrilling last night. That Stephan Curry is fairly awesome. I'll enjoy these next few games before every just gets swept by Miami. Four game 6's tonight alone. At least when the Knicks start eating their own shorts I'll have something else to switch over to.

The Tremors Come On

song of the day

In the process of clearing out my 2012 yet-to-hear list and on an unfortunate album by Yeasayer this is the only real standout in the bunch. I hope they come back with something in 2013 because you know how fickle these people can be...

BuhBye BuhBay

Three seasons of misery and concussion recovery and Bay is finally gone. I was as excited as the next guy to see him come over from Boston but I ain't shedding a tear for him now. Not for anyone on this team really. I guess now we just sit back and watch him hit .315 and hit 40 homeruns with Florida next year or something. Such is life in Flushing.

Hanover And Over

Just got my first taste of the ugly side of the business today on a sales meeting in southern Pa. I came along,just for the education, and dude denied having us on his schedule. Dave checked email and confirmed the email exchange. Kinda bummer. But they rescheduled for tomorrow. Hope we don't interrupt his lunch at the bar again.

At least I got this...

Cleveland Is A Wash

Well, since we are running ahead of schedule after the Christmas Story house we thought we'd do a mini tour of Cleveland. So far we've gotten lost in a parking garage, gotten lost in a hotel, walked an empty albeit lovely European style mall and gotten stuck in a typhoon. So we are leaving Cleveland. Wet.

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The Can'tgetrights

There is a saying that the worst day at the ballpark is still better than a day at work. I'm not sure that's true. I worked my ass off yesterday and had a hell of a better time than I would have watching that horror show of a double header against the Braves. And things look only to get worse from here, with the most effective pitcher to date apparently hurt and some bottom of the pack teams coming to town that I'm sure they'll find a way to lose series to. Good thing I am busy working.

Much Prefers Mister Macchio

This is a video of Yuula reviewing the new Karate Kid movie starring lil' Will Smith and Jackie Chan.



Yeah. Not good.

Miserably Fitting Finish

It's long been known that Mets weren't getting anywhere this season. I haven't watched a full game since July. I didn't watch the last game yesterday and as if the season wasn't enough of a joke they take the Nationals into the 14th and for some ungodly reason they decide to bring in Oliver Perez and he does exactly what everyone expects him too. Walk the bases full and then walk in the lead run. The winning run. Game over. On a walk. A bases loaded walk. When the bases were empty.



He really should be shot. That's why he hasn't played in a month. Maybe it was all a joke. Jerry's big FU to management, since he knew it was his final night as manager there. It would be the way they finish out the season. Let's hope they find something else to spend $12 million to next year other than a punchline.



So the Wilpon's have had their press conference. Jerry's gone. Omar's gone. Let's see what that does. From John Maine's meltdown to Jason Bay's headslam to Jose Reyes oblique to Johan Santana's uncanny inability to win a game, this is a season to forget, and after watching Jay Cutler get sacked 9 times lats night, it seems I already have.

Stop The Season, I Wanna Get Off

“You see, after Wednesday’s disgusting display in Atlanta, I’m pretty much done for the year… Call me a Fugazi, call me a quitter, call me whatever you want, but honestly, if the Mets and their owners don’t care, why the heck should I?”
-Bill Price, The Daily News

Yes, I’m glad to hear Mike Pelfrey say he takes responsibility for the other night. Wonderful. But, you still lost, Mike. I appreciate hearing the Mets talk about ‘stepping up.’ That’s great. But, they still lost. The reporters repeatedly tell us about how hard Luis Castillo, Jeff Francoeur, and others, are working before every game. That’s nice. But, they still make errors, go hitless and lose. Also, they’re making millions and millions of dollars, and we pay lots of money to watch them play, so I’d hope they’re working hard. I mean, it’s their job to work hard, isn’t it? So, congratulations, gentlemen, for doing what you’re supposed to do. I kinda don't wanna hear about ‘effort', only to see the team make bad throws, leave men on base and lose in a self-proclaimed ‘big game.’ I’m don't care if they think a pitcher had ‘great stuff,’ despite watching him give up five runs in five innings. They're losing me, and with football season peeking around the corner, I may find myself watching boring preseason games as opposed to watching the Mets puke all over themselves for the next two months. For tonight, they're in Philly, and it couldn't be a worse place to be. Let's see...

Can't Get Right

Laura & I switched over to the Detroit/Cleveland game because watching a perfect game from a team you could care less about beats watching your team blow another lead anyday, and just in time for the bottom of the ninth. I got sick to my stomach when that bad call was made. Laura got pissed. I mean seriously angered. I think she made some vague threat towards Jim Joyce's mother. And obviously today at work, it was the hot topic around the water cooler. People had their opinions. Terms like "human element" and "redemption" were tossed about carelessly and I stayed out of it, for the most part. The overall feeling around the world today is that MLB should award Armando Galarraga with a perfect game, but am I the only one missing the point? I think that one of the most important things, maybe the only important thing to someone pitching one of these perfect games, only 20 in baseball history, is the moment it happens in and not the fact that it gets written down in some book on some shelf. Everyone loves to see the celebration, even when it's not your team celebrating, we all love to see the bumrush of the pitchers mound, the arms tossed skyward, the mouths open in elation and the boylike excitement that happens with these things. And if you took that away, at that moment, there is nothing you can do to ever get it back, ever. So what would be the point? I felt for the guy, but if he didn't get the chance to jump into Miguel Cabrera's arms at that very moment, then he's not gonna do it when and if the call is ever overturned. That would be weird.

Oh, and peace out Griffey.

And Now I'm Down $10

Good thing Spike is playing a Star Wars marathon or I might be a tad down for the rest of the day.

Woe Is Us

Okay....

So my one of my external drives that I planned to work with today just crashed and I'm trying not to be freaked out. I'm not actually. I've come to expect it. That'll be two crashes in three months. My luck couldn't be better. But I guess I'm going to start my Super Bowl celebration a little early. Not going to be all that fun since Laura's at work, and not having a good day by any means either. Oh woe is us.

Anyhow...

Should be a good game. I got the Saints up by 4, but it's probably just wishful thinking. Was gonna maybe get a pizza and drink some beer, but it's not me, so why force it. Probably go make some soup and take a nap. Tomorrow is coming fast.

Oh hey! The hard drive works again! It's a Super Bowl miracle! Now the Saints are definitely gonna win!!

I'd Repeat February 2nd

I've still never been able to sit thru Groundhog Day. Not by choice, just scheduling conflicts. Yesterday I almost made it but right about where Bill Murray decides to accept his repetitive fate, it was feeding time and I had to help out in the kitchen because Laura was trying a new dish. Long story short; it didn't turn out well. Little bland by her own admission. She tried ripping the page out of the cookbook for Pete's sake. They can't all be masterpieces. But the real celebration of the day was finally seeing the first episode of the last season of Lost. They promise to answer questions this season yet all the 2 hour premiere did was raise new ones and introduce and seemingly brand new group of inhabitants that live in "the temple". Every episode better be two hours because I don't think they're gonna have enough time to tie it all together otherwise.

And what's with John Locke being the smoke monster!?



Good day. Wish I could repeat it.

Cera-iously

Ha, that's dumb.

Anyhow, I had recently began doubted the brilliance of one of my favorite young actors, Michael Cera. After a turn as George-Michael on the amazingly under-appreciated Arrested Development and then his lesser known and pretty gosh darn funny webcast episodes of Michael & Clark, I thought for sure he was going to be spending a good deal of time on my television screen, delighting me in ways most could never dream. Even Superbad was tolerable the third and fourth time I've seen it.

Than there came Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, which would've been a good film, if it hadn't succumbed to the producers grand ideas of telling kids what they think they should think is hip. Painful film. Then came Year One, a sure thing starring Cera & Jack Black; probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and not so bad that it's good kinda thing, just bad. Bad.

And now, now he's hanging out with the cats of Jersey Shore, a show that no I seriously have never even seen a commercial for, nonetheless an entire episode, but have heard enough to know that I would hate it with all my might, me being from the Jersey Shore myself and knowing that 99.8% of the people who live there are nothing like these guido morons.

But then he did just do this mildly entertaining part music video, part PSA for taking candy from strangers, tripping and becoming entranced by beads.



Keep me guessing buddy. I'm scared to see Youth In Revolt. I hate when my stars fall.

GiantSuck

Well that's that. They had a chance. A slim one, yes, but a chance is a chance. It was over before it started really. The first drive looked pretty, then the Giants did what they do in the red zone; not score. A touchdown pass taken away by a stupid holding penalty, followed by a great reception by Manningham only to fumble and have it recovered by Carolina, and the wind was taken out, never to return. I think it can be found lingering somewhere over Lucas Oil Field where at least one team that plays in NJ can show up when it matters. So now I can't even watch the last game of the season because #1 it doesn't matter, and #2 I can't stand watching Brett Favre take them apart like he inevitably will.

All this and that's how we'll remember Giants Stadium. Today they, Eli Manning & Tom Coughlin apologized. Not accepted.

My Soul Reeks Of Botulism

Yes I ruined Thanksgiving...

Thank goodness we had a backup.

Ruined By A Pee Joke & Country Music

Okay...

So I saw 2012. I was really looking forward to it actually. It's one of those movies you gotta see in the theater ya know, with all the special effects and whatnot, and I gotta say, it did not disappoint. It was absolutely insane and worth the price of the ticket Daniel bought for me, but I'll be damned if they didn't ruin the whole previous 2 hours and 37 minutes in the last seconds of the film.

They made a pee joke.

That's right. A joke about a little girl peeing her pants. That was the last line of this $200 million dollar film drowning in special-effects and (up to that point) a script that didn't make you embarrassed to like it. With a pee joke.

And then to add salt to the wound, the credits roll with the nails-on-chalkboard rang-a-tang of some awful country song about the gay dude from American Idol wanting a kiss.

I couldn't run out of that theater fast enough, completely mindblown by the film I had just seen and simultaneously infuriated by the producers choice to go so American and ruin a completely tasteful film otherwise.

Badminton Is The Only Good

Ok so I saw some of the Olympics, maybe because I feel an overwhelming urge to support our country in such turbulent times, or maybe because nothing else is on, or maybe because it's on every other channel and I kinda can't escape it. Either way...

First thing I saw was women's water polo. It was like walruses playing soccer. I'm not saying they were fat, I mean they're Olympic athletes. It was just the slowest thing I have ever experienced. Like a slug race. Terrible.

Then we went to some handball. I admit, I don't get it. Is it like soccer with your hands? Is it like basketball? Why not just play basketball? People think of everything. It's like I say "I made up a new sandwich. It's like a regular sandwich just with the turkey & mustard on the outside of the bread" Yeah, it tastes the same just looks different. It's stupid.

I watched some women's softball. Looks more like a uniformed hissy fit than anything resembling baseball. I hear it's being removed from the Olympics after this year. I can see why.

I caught some men's gymnastics. That was sick. I was happy for the Americans when they got third. I've never seen anyone celebrate a bronze medal like that. But I'm afraid they lost me when they went all ghetto near the end shouting colloquialisms such as "dat's how we do it!" and "Wut Up USA!". Go America :|

I have to say my favorite so far has been the badminton. These cats are sick. They're like standing five feet apart and slapping the birdie back and forth crazy fast and being so dead serious about it. It's like "who are these giants on the tennis court?". It comes off like a Kids in the Hall skit. At first I thought we were watching Comedy Central. Brilliant. I'd like some more of that please.