Today promised to be full of old things a new way. Taking Yuula to Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia. Last time I was there I was the childrens. Now I'm the dad. We went to the ENT in King of Prussia and last time I was there I was lip-synching to Beauty School Drop-out as a winsome 7 year old. This time I bought a white rug for Yuula's room. Old places, new ways.
We got to the area a little early and decided to make a pit stop into Target for some refills on butt paste. Good stuff that butt paste. On the way in we noticed it was Yuula's first foray into public interaction. Nerves set in. Our cart went 1 mph. We forgot why we came and wandered for 20 minutes. When we finally reached the 8 aisles of baby products we were received by a plethora of new & soon-to-be mothers just looking to jabber about anything and everything. I don't think many of them even had shopping to do, as much as they wanted to tell everyone else what they should be shopping for. That's one thing we've learned in these three weeks of parenthood: Everyone else knows better. And I think our first experience of crying baby in public went well too. Mostly I tried to hide. Best bet is the back of the store by the curtains and rugs. No one ever goes there. Plus all the plush products make good sound absorbers.
We scooted on over to the ENT, still and hour early, to find out that we were the only ones. Good time to be early, the receptionist ensured us. We got right into room 4. Yuula had no idea. Doctor Whetmore was a kind white-haired man who set us at ease with his genuine concern and interest in Yuula and her frenular inconvenience. He even gave us a free ear check-up, satisfying the E in the ENT title. After an extremely brief consultation the decision was made to cut the tongue and more importantly, have the insurance company pay for it. So in came nurse, Laura prepped her nerves and Whetmore donned a miner-style lighted headband. Oh what fun to be a doctor!
Just a quarter of an inch is all she needed. I half expected her tongue to flop out like Gene Simmons. A very small bit of blood, half as many tears and Yuula was back to calm. Miracle and relief. We got out of there without opening our wallet, that is until we got to McDonald's and ordered up some chicken sandwiches. On the way back out to the highway we saw an Urban Outfitters and wondered if they sold onesies. They did not, but we did buy a nice leather journal and a white rug for her room.
On the way back, somewhere between Allentown and home, Yuula gave us our first lesson in parenting. We had our first Oh-Crap-It's-A-Real-Baby moment when Yuula threw a temper tantrum in the backseat, and who can blame her after being out for 8 hours already. We decided to pull over and park in front of some seedy Allentown night club and try and soothe her.
It was cloudy.
We came to the realization of a wet diaper and tried to change her in the front seat. It was going well, until we remembered Yuula's new favorite game of waiting til we get her diaper off to hit us with a second wave. Her mustard drip began to run all over the seat and with expert comedic timing Yuula waited for Laura to pick her up to begin dispensing the pee.
I haven't laughed that hard in a while. And as we drove away from the seedy Allentown night club I noticed a sign stating that the lot was under 24-hour surveillance, so someone somewhere has a video of the whole thing. I'd pay money...
Lesson #1, always bring a change of clothes, for her and for us.
Once we hit 512 Yuula finally calmed down, thanks to the help of Essie Jain and the rest of the ride was peaceful, as if a consolation.
Long day for a little bear.
We got to the area a little early and decided to make a pit stop into Target for some refills on butt paste. Good stuff that butt paste. On the way in we noticed it was Yuula's first foray into public interaction. Nerves set in. Our cart went 1 mph. We forgot why we came and wandered for 20 minutes. When we finally reached the 8 aisles of baby products we were received by a plethora of new & soon-to-be mothers just looking to jabber about anything and everything. I don't think many of them even had shopping to do, as much as they wanted to tell everyone else what they should be shopping for. That's one thing we've learned in these three weeks of parenthood: Everyone else knows better. And I think our first experience of crying baby in public went well too. Mostly I tried to hide. Best bet is the back of the store by the curtains and rugs. No one ever goes there. Plus all the plush products make good sound absorbers.
We scooted on over to the ENT, still and hour early, to find out that we were the only ones. Good time to be early, the receptionist ensured us. We got right into room 4. Yuula had no idea. Doctor Whetmore was a kind white-haired man who set us at ease with his genuine concern and interest in Yuula and her frenular inconvenience. He even gave us a free ear check-up, satisfying the E in the ENT title. After an extremely brief consultation the decision was made to cut the tongue and more importantly, have the insurance company pay for it. So in came nurse, Laura prepped her nerves and Whetmore donned a miner-style lighted headband. Oh what fun to be a doctor!
Just a quarter of an inch is all she needed. I half expected her tongue to flop out like Gene Simmons. A very small bit of blood, half as many tears and Yuula was back to calm. Miracle and relief. We got out of there without opening our wallet, that is until we got to McDonald's and ordered up some chicken sandwiches. On the way back out to the highway we saw an Urban Outfitters and wondered if they sold onesies. They did not, but we did buy a nice leather journal and a white rug for her room.
On the way back, somewhere between Allentown and home, Yuula gave us our first lesson in parenting. We had our first Oh-Crap-It's-A-Real-Baby moment when Yuula threw a temper tantrum in the backseat, and who can blame her after being out for 8 hours already. We decided to pull over and park in front of some seedy Allentown night club and try and soothe her.
It was cloudy.
We came to the realization of a wet diaper and tried to change her in the front seat. It was going well, until we remembered Yuula's new favorite game of waiting til we get her diaper off to hit us with a second wave. Her mustard drip began to run all over the seat and with expert comedic timing Yuula waited for Laura to pick her up to begin dispensing the pee.
I haven't laughed that hard in a while. And as we drove away from the seedy Allentown night club I noticed a sign stating that the lot was under 24-hour surveillance, so someone somewhere has a video of the whole thing. I'd pay money...
Lesson #1, always bring a change of clothes, for her and for us.
Once we hit 512 Yuula finally calmed down, thanks to the help of Essie Jain and the rest of the ride was peaceful, as if a consolation.
Long day for a little bear.
2 comments:
how did you decide to name your child yuula? my name is yuula and i didn't think there were other yuulas in the world...
WOW! We thought we had made it up. Nice to see she's not alone in the world. Saw your website. Love the work.
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