Getting Used To Two

she has become Facebook aware

She thrives in squalor

she'd eat only M&M's and Cheerios if we let her

We get doctor checkups EVERYDAY

She has just discovered that Judee has 4 legs and her mind is blown

Who Ever Wanted To Be A Thimble Anyhow?

Ahh the ever-present dilemma of any family getogether once that Monopoly board hits the freshly cleaned kitchen table is not making sure Laura is not allowed to play banker (she cheats) but which shiny silver token best represents your current mood, social standing and life goals. I always went for the old boot, so my pinky could pretend he was Lowly Worm from Richard Scary books. Worms are good at real estate.

But Monopoly sales must've finally dropped off this holiday season because Hasbro has decided to replace one of our beloved avatars and replace it, via public facebook vote. How else does anything ever get done these days? I say out with the iron. I always thought that was some misplaced Barbie accessory anyhow.

But who to crown as the new Monopoly icon, sentenced to forever wander a cardboard square and always ending up back at the "go"...

Cat
Some may think this is my first choice but they'd be surprised to hear that it is anything but. You'll notice that the cat wears a collar, which insinuates that the cat is at the very least an indoor/outdoor pet, and after our final not-so-pleasant expeirence with indoor kitties, I gotta stand against this little guy. Not to mention that there's already a dog in the mix and the last thing we need to add to this is the assured and immediate element of division that the classic "catpeople" vs "dogpeople" issue will bring to an already overly intense board game. And his tail is weirdly short.

Ring
So I feel like, after the whole Beyonce thing, and the diamond ring being the symbol of wedded bliss and wholly matrimony, that this will be popular with single hip-hop loving women, ages 21-33. That is a demographic I just made up. And while I think a good portion of women will turn out and vote for this, an opposing reciprocate of men will turn out to vote against this nugget. Just look at the proportionality of that diamond up there. The last thing I need from Monopoly is yet another reminder that I can't afford anything in this world.

Guitar
I don't think I'm alone when I say that I would find it completely insufferable to sit thru a game of pretend real estate while some tool plays air guitar on his mini Dean Martin acoustic. Cat in the Cradle, Freebird, Sweet Child O' Mine, the list of inane torture is literally limitless, which makes this an easy choice not to ever, ever consider making this the new piece, please for the love of gods everywhere. Plus, how does that thing stand up? Do I have to get a mini guitar stand too? C'mon!

Helicopter
I think this has a good chance. There's a certain romanticism involved with the concept of a helicopter that would endear itself to all types of characters. The hovering adds beauty, the spinning blades invoke danger, and there's no price you can put on the luxury of spur-of-the-moment air travel. Plus let's not forget that this is a game of monetary domination, and which of these is the sign of rich fools throwing their money around unnecessarily? Not the kitty that's for damn sure.

Robot
This here is where my loyalties lie. The vintage 1950's style robot looks so fresh in embossed silver and extra chunky cankles. I can, off the top of my head, think of so many awesome catchphrases to utilize as I circle the board and swallow up properties, not to mention the advantages of not having a soul or conscience would award someone attempting to ruthlessly wipe out their friends finances, especially after they just dined on such a delicious meal of steak fajitas that was prepared specifically for their presence. And do I even need to mention the mustache? 







There it is. Make your choice, or end up back with the thimble.

Faneuil Hall Looked Lovely Last Night

There it is. The remnants of last evenings election party. It was just Laura and I, but we had a good time following the live fb'ing, hearing Wolf Blitzer shriek every time he saw a close race and playing with the online interactive electoral college maps. We might use the electoral system to make decisions around the house from now on, like what's Ohio telling us is for dinner, or what does Colorado think we should do on our day off (hmm). Favorite lines on fb were:

"I guess Claire McCaskill had a way of shutting that whole thing down"

"Diane Sawyer is either wicked blotto or having a stroke"

"Aww, I was really looking forward to getting my own planet"

"The trailer for Lincoln looks really good"

 

Presidential race aside, it's quite an impressive result in the Senate and cool to see provisions passing in Maine, Maryland and (I think) Washington. I've been following it as much as a anyone can and I'm mostly relieved it's over. I guess I'll stay tuned to see what happens next. But first... oatmeal.

A Year Undecipherable

Working For The Week

We built her a cage. Please don't feed the animals.



The past week work has actually been quite the good time. The crew has been widdled down and everyone seems to have been relieved of some excess weight. Now it's just good times and hijinks, when we can navigate the waters of the demon with caution.... don't worry about it.



It helps when I have a delicious meal waiting for me.

Probably my favorite moment of the workweek came during lunch on Friday when we spotted Coralys checking her facebook and I used my eagle eye vision to check out her profile photo and noticed something peculiar. After closer inspection I realized it was what I thought it was. Now, most people try to make their facebook photos the very best representation of themselves that they can. Maybe the photo is a few years old when they were thinner & younger. Maybe it's that one photo that caught you in the right light from the right angle. Maybe it's one that you had your friend photoshop until you looked amazing. Coralys on the other hand, her only requirement was that there was a toilet bowl in the photo. And a toilet bowl with the lid up. I laughed for the rest of the day.

The Good Of Facebook

Star Wars On Facebook

Stati

I just made that word up. I don't like how statuses sounds. Too many sususesuses. Look at this guy...

Someone pointed out to me my facebook stati are very random. I went back and read them all. They made me laugh. I will remember them.... now.

R. Travis...

...- tada!
...:: un día.
...RxHS CG = good times gone (for now).
...been wishin' & hopin' & thinkin' & prayin'...
...: Panteleimon.
...is back in the blue.
...is probably too warm.
...is not your mama [apparently].
...is amazed at how close Jackson & Howell are.
...is house.
...says a word is also a picture of a word.
...says that according to my mother, some sort of phantom stole into the room where I lay in my cradle and struck me on the head with a silver hammer.
...is moon jellies & burning honey.
...has insects & insomniacs outside.
...waxed before he waned [again]; damnit!
...is getting sinisterer & sinisterer.
...eats oatmeal.
...is :) cause Emma is :) cause Sean is :).
...says be kind, rewind.
...has recently been working on a yoga technique that when perfected will allow him to blow in his own ear.
...likes plants that live on pavement, blessed brambles.
...is m-ba mkay pai daw btio phw.
...says look to the left- is that enough?
...asks which you prefer: reverse discourse or diverse recourse?
...is so embarassed for Daniel Riley!
...is at an actual 'busy'.
...is interiors.
...had his muffins stolen.
...knows the difference between a tepee & a toupée.
...drank a cobra.
...is wearing his mothers coat.
...doesn't wanna end up a bat on a sticky wicket but no sense moping about the flat.
...misses his ginger.
...had toad in the hoop.
...is chloroformed.
...is uncle.
...in the land of the lost.
...is 8.
...is packing & waited.
...is dawn kim add kitty fin.
...is oh me oh my.
...says happy birthday Mom.
...did nothing.
...flew to Miami to change a flat tire.
...barely cracked the list.
...is on Christmas.
...is a dirty whirlwind.
...is snowed in... finally.
...is taking bribes.
...has the road.
...tubed.
...is frosted window panes.
...wishing you & yours.
...is shoveling snow in a t-shirt & shorts.
...is taking reservations.
...gots chips, gots dip, gots taquitos.
...may have drank his hat.
...has all day. We all have all day.
...fireworked.
...for once, will not mind the warmth.
...is with gays.
...is ready for the cold again.
...is dropping rain like puss.
...wants 4 walls & adobe slats for my girl.
...says "put the kettle on baby, I'm coming home!".
...is taking one more night for Christmas.
...is blood-throat cotton-tooth.
...just bought dog food from a cake-faced Yoko Ono.
...is snowsick.
...is sweating & in awe.
...likes Amish toys.
...is in the off-season.
...is gonna make it out of the driveway today
...is in 1°.
...is off to Alabama mama trauma, then Obama comma drama.
...is flying back, undecided & illprepared.
...is paraded.
...left without saying goodbye. Buhbye!
...bailed on history.
...has Antony & he has never been more appropriate.
...is having pancakes for the 5th day in a row.
...is being still.
...is cue-are-ess-tee-you-vee.
...is all the while.
...is pursuing a nautically themed death.
...is keeping hands off the apparatus.
...all of a sudden felt my body moving the sound.
...is celebrating martyrdom.
...is black like that.
...does ninja moves and spy things.
...had a joint-reverse déjà vu?