4 Seconds A Day: October 2014

First 4sec vid with a scary ending. Boo!

Thanks For The Tour Tony

(from October 7th)

watch it while you can

We Got To Be Dave

(from October 7th)

So, I have been, off and on, trying to get tickets to Letterman for years now, and the recent announcement of him retiring at the end of this year has kicked it into high gear. It's kind of my non-existent bucket list, ya see. But I filled out the online ticket request a handful (27) of times and requested almost every date between then and the end. And lo and behold, I got a call. I was stoked. We had to decide what night to go right then and there, next week, Tuesday or Wednesday, maybe Thursday. I made a best guess. Didn't matter. We were going.

Fast forward to the day of the show and the hoops and hurdles they make you jump thru just to get a place in line, we were stoked. Until they ushered us upstairs into the dreaded balcony and sat us behind a humongous light set where all we could see was the main stage where Dave does his monologues and Robert Downey Jr's feet. He did have cool shoes on however.

By the end of the whole debacle, we realized we had a decent time, Lucky Leaf was hilarious, Lizzo was darling, and it was still infinitely more interesting than having it on in the background at home while we brush our teeth and undoubtedly turn off the TV before the top ten list.

We headed over to Cosi for a celebratory flatbread turkey/brie sandwich. We ate outside the shop and debated walking around a bit or calling it a night and returning to the children. While we weighed the consequences of hobbling around the streets versus battling rush hour traffic I spotted cue card guy Tony from the Late Show and yelled some benign comment like "Good show tonight!". After a brief discussion on which takes they should use and how terrible our seats were Tony took it upon himself to rescue the night and give us a personal backstage tour of the theater himself.

Uhhh, okay.

From the stage

Chatting with Tony

I'm Dave

She's Dave

Ever wonder what it looks like behind Dave's desk?

Another show personality

Showing us the detail in the set

Laura looking where so many celebs before her have

What a silly ending to a stupid night.

Are Those Your Drums?

I'm gonna miiiiis hiiim

Put A Camera On A Birdhouse

I was planning to write this post about the whole debacle over the late night shows at NBC, obviously taking stance against Jay "Big Jaw" Leno and in favor of Conan O'Brien, and tho I rarely watch even my preferred late night program with David Letterman, I can still be pissed at the entire situation. I was going to name the post "Giant Asses" and also speak of Richard Heene.

Simply put Jay Leno is a complete ass. He was never funny on The Tonight Show, making the classic program obsolete, at least to people who would appreciate the hallowed continuation of the franchise. His hacked version of "comedy" is so painfully trite that I've actually found myself campaigning against it and finding myself unable to establish relationships with anyone who would disagree with me.

If I were Conan, which I sometimes am, I would've been gone at the first mention of this. Conan moved his entire family and life to the west coast with the intention of hosting this show into old age, only to have it ripped away from him 7 months later. I don't know the exact details of his contract but I would've gotten my due and said "peace, bitches". Fox is waiting. HBO is waiting. The nerve of Leno, to just assume he could have his time slot back and where everyone falls else is their problem is astounding and I'd love to see Conan pop him one on his gigantic mandible.

He's released a statement:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky. That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it's always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

If anything this complete and utter failure of Leno's 10pm program should prove to NBC executives that the whole time Leno was on the Tonight Show it was the show's reputation alone that allowed it to be so successful and that since Conan has taken over the ratings have dropped due to all the other programs, like Letterman & Comedy Centrals 1-2 punch of Stewart & Colbert, that have given and will continue to give the Tonight Show a run for its money, regardless of the host.

But let's see what the real funny man of late night, a man not unfamiliar to the idiocy over at NBC has to say...

Christmas Cupcake Crash

Now this is a Christmas party!

I gotta start watching this show again.