Turkey Surrogate

This is a thing...

It's called a cockentrice.

Here's the recipe:

...take a capon, scald it, drain it clean, then cut it in half at the waist; take a pig, scald it, drain it as the capon, and also cut it in half at the at the waist; take needle and thread and sew the front part of the capon to the back part of the pig; and the front part of the pig to the back part of the capon, and then stuff it as you would stuff a pig; put it on a spit, and roast it: and when it is done, gild it on the outside with egg yolks, ginger, saffron, and parsley juice; and then serve it forth for a royal meat.

Oh and for the thrift-hearted out there, don't worry. We won't let any go to waste.

I call it the gobblehog.

These are legit.